God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Even the bartender felt bad for me
this just has baby written all over it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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