Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
