"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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