You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
