So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
