Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
