i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
