If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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