he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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