Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
