So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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