The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
