Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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