So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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