he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
