i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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