Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
