I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
