Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
