I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
