If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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