i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
