But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
