Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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