Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
