you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
