i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
