I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
