Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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