so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
