lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
