So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
