i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
