just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
