This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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