so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
