Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
