i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
NoShamevember. You game?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
