Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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