the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
