Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
