It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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