best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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