Someone shit on the floor
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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