If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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