I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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