This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
