Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
