I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
