They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
