I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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